Last year I became pregnant with our third child, but alas she did not survive the first trimester. We decided to name her Zoé Hope Hartness. As a pro-life individual, I truly believe she is in heaven, waiting for us at this very moment. The translation of her first name means "Life", and we have the Hope that she is indeed alive, yet in another realm.
If she had gone to term, her due date would have been October 13, 2012. She would have been one year old today. I no longer lose sleep or cry over this loss, but I think every year at this time I will think of her, and wonder what it would have been like to have had a daughter in his house of men.
Recently my husband noticed something about a craft I made back in 1978, when I was a second-grader. I was a member of a Girl Scout Brownie troop, and our project in October of that year was to decorate a plate with special markers, and the plate would be dishwasher safe after the art dried. See my pretty blue "sky", the strip at the top?
In the meantime, I love and enjoy my two precious boys who are with me now. They are among the greatest blessings of my life, and I'm grateful for their healthy entrance into this world.
Post update: A friend noticed something about the plate that had never occurred to me before. When I was pregnant with Zoé, we used to talk about becoming a "five family": Husband Jonathan, myself, Matthew, Colson and Zoé. The observant friend noted that there are 5 flowers on the plate-- with one tiny little one in the middle. Some may say coincidence-- I say no-- It's a wink from God.