Book Review: Making Peace with What I Can't Control by Lysa TerKeurst

Lysa TerKeurst offers a compassionate, practical message for those who find themselves burdened by matters which are completely beyond their control. We might see loved ones making choices which will not only bring trouble to themselves, but also to others around them. In another case, perhaps it’s a medical diagnosis, revealing a sickness with no available cure. For many in this tumultuous age, they worry as political and cultural powers seem to be sending society off an existential cliff. No matter how much hang-wringing, pleading, or intervening is done, those who desire certain types of control can find themselves frustrated beyond measure. Peace is lost and years are spent with anxiety and concern. Lysa has felt similar tensions in her life, and offers wise counsel in how to manage it. 

If readers enjoyed The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins, they may find that in many ways Making Peace with What I Can’t Control is an improvement. Rather than offering a position based in Stoicism, TerKeurst examines the issue of control through the lens of the Bible. What does God’s Word have to say about the issues we face every day? How can we take our hands off of frustrating situations which seemingly need our management? Lysa repeatedly illuminates scripture passages which speak to these concerns. 

Not only is God capable of handling that which worries us, but he invites us to cast our cares upon him (I Peter 5:7). This is not always an easy task, and in some cases has to be done repeatedly. We may have to grieve and give up dreams which we had held for certain relationships, knowing things could be different if our loved one would make healthy choices. Lysa does not readily advocate a type of cancel culture, but acknowledges that in some relationships, we might have to make peace with less-than-ideal situations. As we experience that pain of disappointment, we can turn to the One who can comfort us like no other. When we do this, we are freed not only from the burden of carrying that which is not ours to carry, but we are also liberated to fully pursue the path which the Lord has for us (Matt. 11:28-30). We are able to grow into emotionally and spiritually stronger followers of Christ and serve him in a way that is not codependent on the choices of others. 

Over the years I have not always agreed with Lysa on every theological matter. However, Making Peace with What I Can’t Control offers a biblical, Christ-focused treatise which will be helpful for many. If your worries for a loved one keep you up at night, I encourage you to read Lysa TerKeurst’s message and apply it. Read and re-read the scripture passages she presents. Ask the Lord for his help. The God of all comfort is waiting to offer peace in the midst of the storms of life (II Cor 1:3-4). As we release our controlling tendencies to him, we can witness his work in us and in those for whom we hold such care.

About the Author

Lysa TerKeurst is president and chief visionary officer of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the author of seven New York Times bestsellers, including I Want to Trust You, But I Don't, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes, Forgiving What You Can't Forget, and It's Not Supposed to Be This Way. She enjoys life with her husband Chaz and her kids and grandkids. Connect with her at www.LysaTerKeurst.com or on social media @LysaTerKeurst.

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